For good measure, the Bush team threw some high-profile, and completely unwarranted, 'terrorist' warnings into the mix. One such 'terrorist' alert, dutifully reported by inexplicably straight-faced media drones, involved suicide bombers purportedly on the prowl in a town near you. Television reporters cautioned diligent Americans to be on the lookout for - and I swear they actually said this - "people trailing wires from their bodies.
http://www.davesweb.cnchost.com/nwsltr60.html

I kept my eyes open, but I failed to identify any 'terrorist' suspects trailing wires from their bodies. And despite my best efforts, I also failed to spot the "terrorists in disguise" that an FBI advisory warned of. But how exactly does one identify a "terrorist in disguise"? I must have missed a few reeducation classes while I was gone, because, to be perfectly honest, I don't even know how to recognize a 'terrorist' who isn't in disguise! Is there some kind of identifying feature that I should be aware of?

So here is the situation as I see it: the unelectable George H.W. Bush, after using the telegenic Reagan to elevate himself to the office of Vice-President, attempted to have the Gipper whacked so as to earn himself a quick promotion. And now, 20+ years later, George's son and namesake will cynically use the memory of the very same Gipper to resuscitate his largely discredited administration -- and everyone in the media will gamely play along with this cynical charade. Un-fucking-believable.

Well, that just about brings us up to date, except for a few other assorted 'news' items that I suppose I should touch on, such as the recent assassination of the putative head of the puppet government in Iraq. I can't remember his name and I'm not going to bother to look it up, because, in the grand scheme of things, it isn't really important. He is, after all, just one of many U.S. collaborators who have been, and will continue to be, killed by his countrymen. That, you see, is what happens when you are viewed by the vast majority of the population as a treasonous shitbag [editor's note: this originally read "scumbag," but my spellchecker program suggested that perhaps I meant "shitbag" and I had to agree] -- a reality that Ahmad Chalabi apparently suddenly awakened to, as evidenced by the fact that both Chalabi and his CIA handlers immediately began pretending that they will no longer be giving each other hand jobs -- at least not in public. In a possibly related development, the new interim American puppet is being openly marketed as a CIA asset, possibly indicating that his role will be a very temporary one