phillip adams
Liberal application of muck, money and mates

July 06, 2004

ONE'S heart goes out to Prime Minister John Howard. It must be so difficult to choose the exact, right, perfect time for an election. So many things to consider, to weigh, to factor in. For example, you have to be sure there been sufficient time to throw really thick mud at Mark Latham -- and to make sure that it has stuck.

Will a co-ordinated plan of attack persuade the voters that Latham is guilty of a smorgasbord of sins, venial and mortal? Will the voters have had time to count, let alone spend, the generous budgetary bribes?

The postie's bag groans beneath the weight of Howard's scratchies and Peter Costello's lotto prizes. Behold, a ballot box regurgitating jackpots like a malfunctioning pokie. Even when you get all those ducks in a row, when the voters feel that all their birthdays have come at once, you have to consider the weather, the distractions of the Greek Olympics.

And George W. Bush. There's probably sufficient time to prove that Latham was, in fact, Saddam Hussein. But while knocking Latham off his pedestal will be a doddle, getting Bush back on his may prove insurmountable. That's the biggest problem for Howard. Yes, he could drag the election out until next year, giving him time to blame Latham for the Bali bombings. But the PM's best friend, the incumbent US President, faces his own election in November, and that's no moveable feast. Presidents, unlike prime ministers, have fixed terms. And the fix is no longer in for Dubya.

All of which means that Howard, who still pretends that Iraq is a triumph and that Bush is a great President, has to get us to the polls before George and Laura start packing their mementos into the tea chests provided by Lone Star Removals and retreat to the ranch.

Hence the PM's gifts and giveaways, the buy-one-get-one-free approach to politics. Hence the unprecedented bombardment of TV commercials telling us how very, very lucky we are to have Howard at Kirribilli House - not to mention a Treasurer who gives us Fly-Buys. Hence the campaign to convince us that Latham is Hannibal Lecter.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,10050683%5E12272,00.html