ironic times

these are desperate, nerve wracking times - in an attempt to stop my head exploding, i decided to check up on ironictimes - which is a really funny website that i havent visited in perhaps close to a year - mostly because im so fucking busy trying to get the WhiteHouse criminals all dressed in matching orange suits.

ironictimes has a fixed formula, and its always funny. they lead with a current (real) headline, and then debunk it in fewer than ten words. i suggest you check em out. here are some examples from their recent (weekly) edition:

1. EIGHT MORE HURRICANES FORMING IN ATLANTIC
- “Not related” to global warming, says White House science consultant.

2. Miers Qualifies Remark That Bush Is “Most Brilliant” Man She Ever Met
- Now says Senators on the Judiciary Committee are most brilliant.

3. Pace of Bush Political Appointments Slows
- Analysis: he's running out of cronies

4. Interior Dept. Dispenses With Environmental Reviews Before Issuing Drilling Permits
- To save paper, preserving forests.


in fact, the thing that triggered me into going to ironictimes was the recent brouhaha where the whitehouse attacked The Onion- and the onion struck back

(interesting aside the onion " now boasts 5 million readers a week - 2 million for the print edition, and 3 million online." - 40% print??? wtf?)

i used to love the onion - i dont read it anymore - havent for years - not becuase it isnt funny, but mostly because after reading it, i found it impossible to read 'serious' news - my head keeps expecting an onionesque gag and its really disconcerting

anyways - i read ironictimes - and then tried to read wapo's a1 on the traitorgators - the lede is

"The White House, District Court officials and two potential targets of the CIA leak investigation were making preparations yesterday for the possible announcement of indictments by Special Counsel Patrick J. Fitzgerald today, according to several sources familiar with the investigation."

dear wapo - there are tens of millions of people 'making preparations' - and we dont need 'several sources' to confirm.

and then the next para - i only got halfway through before my mind started filling in the blanks:

"Two sources said I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Vice President Cheney's chief of staff, was shopping.. "

i was sure they were going to continue - csi-style - 'shopping for a deal...' but alas:

"Two sources said I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Vice President Cheney's chief of staff, was shopping for a white-collar criminal lawyer amid expectations of those close to the case that he might be indicted for providing false statements or other charges."

and then i read:

""These will be very, very dark days for the White House," the consultant quoted Card as saying."

and i wasnt sure if my head was filling in the fantasy or if it was really real.
-----
in a separate note - some bloggers have laid out predictions about who they think will be indicted, and with what charges. as best as i can tell this is a fools errand - even more so because we wont have a 'final answer' tomorrow - with the possibility of new GJ's and extensions and whatnot. the only prediction i'll make is that there's a very good chance that many of the predictions will be wrong - the consensus about rove/libby/false-statements/perjury might be true - but i wouldnt be surprised if that was only half the story. or a quarter.