(Anyone want to wager that the Future Fox Lead Headline after, God forbid, yet another American city is crippled due to Republican incompetence would be: “Bush: No one could have anticipated the breach of port security.”)and
And then, from the sublime to the ridiculous, here comes Herr Senator Doktor Frist who insists that a censure resolution is pro-terrorist.and
Frist: Feingold only mentioned protecting the American people once. Why does Senator Russ want the terrorists to win? Doesn’t he understand that the Dear Leader never sleeps or eats like a normal human. He precipitates energy out the air. He is powered by the Happy Thoughts of his Subjects! And while Emperor Dewars is out fighting the Evil Doers everywhere across the entire spacetime continuum, whispering any criticism of the Dear Leader can cause a catastrophic interruption in his Steely Concentration.
Frist: A censure resolution weakens us abroad. Weakens our Commander-in-Chief. Any Bad Thing said about the Dear Leader saps our precious bodily fluids, and petty little speedbumps like the Constitution must be brushed aside in order to, uh, protect the Constitution.
(Stephanopolus:) Guest Worker Program: Yes or No?and
Waffle King (frist) burbles on about maybe yes and maybe no in the longest fucking “Nested If”-statement to be found outside of Windows XP source code.
Honestly, I have seen mayonnaise stand its ground more firmly that Fristy.
George Allen: Hey kids, let’s not get everyone all depressed that everything is bad. Sure it’s tough. Sure some things haven’t gone as planned. But if ah jus’sit here with mah lobotomized grin stapled to mah Botoxed face and dazzle you with mah meteor-proof hair and Clintonesque drawl maybe y’all will forget how utterly and completely and pan-dimensiaonally mah Party has fucked this thing up.
Allen (on Energy independence): We will need to unleash the minds of this country to solve the energy problems of this country! However because we are the anti-Science Party of a 6,000-year-old-Earth, I propose we lead the way in Creationist Energy Development, under my omnibus “Jebus Power” energy bill that some will one day nickname the “Sinergizer Bunny” initiative.
Simply put, it is my plan for harnessing the energy of the smiting of the wicked by the Almighty.
Since we know that God visits disaster on the deviant and faggy, I propose we surround our major, Liberal cities with windmills (should retribution come as a hurricane or tornado), hydroelectric generators (in case of Divine Flood), steam engines (Holy Fire) and high-capacity batteries (Thunderbolts).
That’s in the short term.
In the longer term, as Armageddon approaches, I have asked for Faith-Based funding to study the intriguing idea of “Final Days Flywheels.” We can attach 10,000-mile-long carbon monofilaments to the saved so that when they are taken up to Heaven, we can harness the Joyful Trajectory of these Rapture-guided missiles to spin up a million Jebus Wheels.
Part 2 - more highlights:
In case it had escaped anyone’s attention, Iraq is lost.and
This is not hyperbole.
Nor is it any more or less “defeatist” than watching a tornado reduce a farmhouse to splinters and noting that the prevailing weather is wet and windy.
Sixth, Donald Fucking Rumsfeld. Our own slick-pated Gordon Gekko gone to seed. Our CEO of Defense, trying to “run” the military like “Chainsaw” Al Dunlap “ran” Sunbeam. Gut the place, fire every other person, and fill in the gaps with the worst kind of drunken promises of the how it’ll all work out if everyone just works smarter and we use a lotta robots.as always, i've 'snipped' way too much - but have also left much. go read. part one and two.
A conniving pimp full of wild talk, looking for the cheapest possible route to his idea of victory, and to get there he happily embraces a string of reckless, foolish fantasies that have gotten Americans killed and has bled our treasure into the sands of faraway lands.
When asked whether or not the military “pushed back” hard enough, part of the answer was that Rummy’s “management style” is “relentless”. That he will just grind you down to pulp with questions.
How well and intimately we who work for a living know this style of boss.
The one who will grimly slant-drill away until he finds something you don’t know, throw up his hands and say, “Well, see? How can I possibly trust your judgment when you obviously have no idea what you are talking about!” and dismiss your honest and serious objections out-of-hand.
And for those of you s-l-o-w children out there who think this actually sounds like a good way to run a business, remember that anyone can make anyone else look like an idiot if you just cross-examine them to a level of fiddling detail that they can’t possible know and then sneer at them for being uninformed.
Because running an organization – large or small – as the Chief Inquisitor ONLY works when it cuts both ways. When everyone -- even your very bestest buddy -- goes under the microscope. When everyone’s cherished ideas and best intel – and not just those of people that disagree with you -- is scrutinized for Mad Sacred Cow Disease down to the molecular level.
Does anyone in full possession of their faculties still seriously suggest that partisan, pro-Invasion whores like Ahmed Chalabi and “Curveball” ever got the kind of relentless sandblasting from Rummy and extra-special, repeated personal visits from the Vice President to challenge every assumption and check every figure down to nine decimals that the Administration meted out to those who thought that, just maybe, going into Iraq was a bad idea?
Does anyone still even bother to pretend that we wouldn’t be chasing the Mighty Morphin’ Casus Belli three years after we invaded a sovereign nation if the ratty tissue of full-tilt, “Bring ‘em on” pro-Invasion lies had been hit with the same blowtorch that greeted everyone who counseled caution?
And what happens when Relentless Reality finally comes thundering down like the wrath of God to smash Rummy’s, and Dubya’s and Cheney’s ridiculous fantasies to flinders?
C’mon, haven’t you been paying attention?
The Princes of Personal Responsibility will do what they have done every day of this worthless Administration: Blame Everyone Else.
Everyone else under the Sun but themselves and their Cuckoo Bananas dogma.
Throw the staff under the bus and whine that they weren’t better advised: blame the little people they terrorized into silence for not warning them better.
you already know that i worship at the Altar d'Driftglass - but for today's homework - go read both those pieces and remember that he got those posts out in near realtime. i can't remember the last time that i went on a rant - i used to rant quite a lot and did a pretty good job of it (altho my archives are basically unreadable for a bunch of reasons) - but when you read drifty, and you appreciate every exquisite turn o' phrase, you assume that he has too much time on his hands, being a liberal and all, and that he takes time composing each post, and each paragraph and each sentence and whatnot - but reading his two 'coming down' posts today - its apparent that he doesn't even need to pause - he actually thinks like that - in real time! i doubt that he even re-reads a single sentence - its straight from his teevee to his head to the keyboard to Blogger to your eyes.
bastard.
i want to take a holiday in his brain.
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