I'm not one, really; I'm a kind of fuzzy soft-communitarianish libertarian. But let me take a hack at it anyway:
- Conservatives believe that people should take responsibility for their actions.
- Conservatives believe in equality of opportunity, not in equality of result. Conservatives do not want to punish people for the crime of being successful.
- Conservatives believe in protecting the lives of the helpless, even when their lives inconvenience other people.
- Conservatives believe that the government should treat everyone equally, regardless of their race or gender.
- Conservatives believe that people should be allowed to express their faith, and their views on other controversial topics, even when those views make others uncomfortable.
- Conservatives believe that each individual is unique and special, and cannot be treated simply as a member of a group. Individuals are only available individually.
- Conservatives believe that well intentioned changes often have unintended consequences.
- Conservatives believe that people respond to incentives.
- Conservatives believe that America is a special nation, not perfect, but with a proud history. People who come to America should feel that that history is theirs, and celebrate their citizenship. They should not have loyalties to foreign powers.
- Conservatives believe that victims of crime are more worthy of our concern than the criminals who prey on them.
I think she's being serious.