when doves cry
" I'm more paranoid now than I used to be"
"I never used to be a paranoid person. But..."
*mirthless laughter*i'm more paranoid as well and i hate it. this, after a lifetime of not really being frightened of ANYthing (to the point at which my dad began to ask me, when i was 15 and riding NYC subways alone at 4AM, 'are you stupid or just plain crazy?'). i'd just grin...i heard that a LOT until the day he died ten years ago (and now i'm happy he's dead--he'd be totally freaked over the last 5, 6 years, not at teh terra but by bu$hCo).
It isn't paranoia if they really are out to get you...
i kinda wish i died ten years ago too.i vacillate between 'i wish i didnt have to worry about this shit' and 'jeebus - if i'm dead, who'll save the world for my gorgeous nephews?'its a heavy burdenin the meantime - i wish i was dead, but will continue to fight.
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