Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Little 'State Secrets' Role Playing' Humor

miguel wrote this and sent it through via email:


A Little 'State Secrets' Role Playing' Humor

In this game, there are three types of characters: Protagonists, Antagonists and Useful Idiots:

The Characters:

Whistleblower- Your job is to correctly translate wiretaps of Turkish embassy officials and Turkish businessmen conducting illegal operations in the United States. When you discover your co-worker is deliberately mistranslating these tapes , your job is to bring your concerns to all the proper authorities within the FBI. When the FBI refuses to enforce the laws of the United States , your mission is to go directly to the United States Congress. When the U.S. Congress refuses to act, and various gag orders are placed upon you by the courts, finally your job is to bring the issue directly to the American people without violating your gag orders.

Alternative Media/Activists- Your mission: piece together the statements of the whistleblower to draw as accurate a picture as possible of the issues involved. Then, push the story as hard as you can until the so-called "mainstream media" is forced to cover the story and Congress is forced to hold hearings.

Turkish 'Deep State'- Your job is to make sure democratic controls are never implemented in Turkey, and that the ultranationalist, military and intelligence apparatus exercise real power in the modern Turkish state, no matter which government is formally elected. To finance your war against the Kurds and your own people, and to fund your illegal lobbying efforts abroad, you must refine and market Al Qaeda/Taliban Heroin, steal U.S. intelligence secrets and sell them on to the highets bidder, and re-sell sensitive U.S. weapons technology using fake end-user certificates.

Marc Grossman- Your job is to stuff your pockets full of as much illicit cash as possible. In exchange, you must find every sensitive secret that would be of possible interest to your Turkish paymasters and pass it on to them. While you're at, pass on a few to Israel and Pakistan as well. Finally, when not even the Bush Administration can stand your excessive leaking of sensitive data, continue the "gravy train" by working for the Cohen Group and sitting on the board of a questionable Turkish publishing company. Maintain your security clearance at all costs. Whenever a journalist asks you about Sibel Edmonds, claim you've never heard of her and have never read Vanity Fair.

Richard Perle- Do what you've always done- leak classified information to Turkey and Israel. Money to be funneled through International Advisors, to which you are a consultant. Then, get your ugly mug shown all over T.V. explaining how the U.S. needs to invade Iraq to prevent terrorists from getting weapons, even though you may have sold weapons to the very same terrorists for their operations in Bosnia and Chechnya.

Douglas Feith- See Richard Perle above.

Useful Idiots:

New York Times, Washington Post- Run numerous articles on whistleblower Sibel Edmonds, focusing on the excessive steps the U.S. Justice Department is taking to prevent her allegations from becoming public. Then, when Vanity Fair reveals that Ms. Edmonds reported allegations of corruption of high-level officials by Turkish nationals, forget Ms. Edmonds ever existed and refuse to cover the story anymore.

Judge Reggie Walton- The primary role of you and your kangaroo court is to swallow whatever the defendant, the Justice Department, tells you , hook, line and sinker, without giving the whistleblower/plaintiff a chance to present her case. Then, when the Libby case comes to trial, let the bloggers in your courtroom and make yourself the Left's new hero.

U.S. Supreme Court- Your job is to uphold the dubious decision in the Reynolds case, and conveniently ignore the fact that declassified documents now show that particular case was based on government lies and deception.

FBI Director Robert Mueller- Ensure no one in Congress or high up in the Executive Branch is ever prosecuted for espionage, no matter how grave their 'leak' was.

FBI Associate Director Dale Watson- Sit on your hands and do nothing while terrorists plot to take down the World Trade Center. Then, quietly leave your position after the damage is done and take a lucrative consulting assignment with Booz, Allen, Hamilton.



Winter Patriot said...



Great post, Luke. Thank you!

Winter Patriot said...

OT (or maybe not?) You and/or your readers might enjoy my latest epic rant:

Bring On The Horse Manure, It's Time For Another SOTU